Saturday, 30 May 2009

Nature red...

I was walking the dogs this morning, and I saw a lone dog in the distance and put them all on the leash(I have a wee psycho who will attack anything).
So instead of me ploughing serenely along like an elderly battleship surrounded by four ferreting frigates, I came across a scene which normally would have been over before I got there, as the aforesaid wee psycho would have dealt with it.
I noticed the crow first.
Perched on a fence, black eyes on its prey and very reluctant to give way.
The object of attention was on a wee tailess starling, no doubt a survivor from a cat attack.It was sitting on the ground exhausted or resigned to its fate.
What should I do I wondered?To try and help it(a bit difficult with four excited terriers),leave it to it's fate as a leisurely breakast, or kill it quickly myself?
I've seen living mixomytosis rabbits with their eyes pecked out by crows; I chose the last option.

Thursday, 28 May 2009

Scott gives Kirk a beamer.

I am the very model of a modern Presbyterian

I've information relative to the Church criterion

I know the mind of Jesus, and his orders categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters Puritanical

I understand sinners, both the simple and fanatical:
Only Jesus knows my sins both venal and grammatical

About Darwin's theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news

With many cheerful facts about banning of the demon booze

With many cheerful facts about banning of the demon booze

With many cheerful facts about banning of the demon booze

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous

In short, in matters secular I am most meticulous

But having a gay minister-now that is just ridiculous

But having a gay minister-now that is just ridiculous

But having a gay minister-now that is just ridiculous

Friday, 22 May 2009

Chill Pill Power

My wee fresh faced bairn of a doctor has doubled the dose on my meds.

It seems to be working, I'm in a lovely happy land where everything is rosy and the current political situation is like the early morning haar; soon gone with the wind.
On the down side, I don't post as much; as for looking at the Scotsman comments, I just canny be ersed.
In the old days(all of three years ago)there was not the depressing rythm in the comments section as there is now.
These days its the interminable disparaging articles about the SNP, backed up by one, or possibly two journos commenting under many user names.

Any criticism of the Labour Party, Westminster, Broon, Darling and the Union is answered by them with: Salmond is fat, broken promises is fat.
Oh, and Kenny Mcaskill is an erse...

...but I'll still, never ever, vote Labour again.

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Bye Mick.

All hail to Michael Martin MP,
He is the greatest Speaker I did ever hear or see.
He is a man of genius bright,
And in him Westminster does delight,
Because they find him to be honest and plain,
Affable in temper, and seldom known to complain.
He speaks in a plain straightforward way,
The MP's flock to hear him night and day,
And dozens from the door are often turn'd away,
Because they do not bring a gift of whisky.
Many MP's owe him all they have got
Plus bathplugs, porn and a clean moat.
And while he lives he will ne'er be forgot
Quentin Letts also owes him his fame
Gorbals Mick! What's in a name?
Michael Martin MP, I must conclude my muse,
And to write in praise of thee my pen does not refuse,
Nor does it give me pain
to tell the world fearlessly, that when you are dead
they shall not look upon your like again.

Friday, 15 May 2009

Thig am bata

Come all now and listen to me, and in prose Shakespearean

I'll tell you a tale of Sabbaths, journeys and Kirks Presbyterian

For upon the Sabbath day the Hebrides you cannot travel

Not even if you were to say please and grovel.

Rev Iain D Campbell, of the Lord's Day Observance Society,

Well known throughout the land for his piety

Said: "None of us have the absolute right to come and go from the island whenever and however we wish."

Which is a denial of basic rights, not to mention a load of pish.

A seven-day service would bring social and economic benefits to the islands

And let them compete with the rest of the highlands

Sunday travel should be a matter of individual choice.

And only those that wish to, will listen to the Wee, Free voice.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Says it all really.

Friday, 8 May 2009

A Good Use For A Kukri

Joanna triumphantly displays Woolas' balls.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Gordon Catches a Crabb

It was upon the dreich sixth day of May

And very unfortunate for some as some may say

Especially the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown of Kirkaldy.

For Stephen Crabb of Pembrokeshire

wishing to put oor Gordon in the mire,

with a wee phone quip

struck Gordon


on his petted lip

And Broon looked roond for someone else tae fire.

Saturday, 2 May 2009

The Guinea Pig flew

My nextdoor neighbour's five year old boy recently got a pair of Guinea pigs, and cute cuddly wee creatures they are too.
Their hutch is about ten feet away from the end of my dog's run.Now the run is Jack Russell escape proof, there are granite setts underneath the fence to stop digging, but there is a three inch gap.
Coupled with the attention span of the average five year old, the inevitable happened this morning...
My nextdoor neighbour's five year old boy's got a Guinea pig, and a cute, cuddly, tasty wee thing it is too.