Sunday, 30 August 2009

Scrape, scrape, scrape


If it wasn't so annoying it would be funny; if it wasn't so funny it would be annoying.
The brazen anti SNP bias continues; count how many times "Could be" "probably" "perhaps"
appear in any SNP articles, after headlines stating the positive.

~~~~Update~~~~

It seems instead of employing journos, the Hootsmon is haemorrhaging them; Hardeep Singh Koli and Ewan Morrison are both gone.
I particularly liked Ewan's farewell knife in the ribs...
"The verdict is in: all the time I thought I was being hip and radical I was working for the enemy."
Couldn't agree more Ewan.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

The difference


This was a "cartoon" in an American publication...guess which words are mine.

Monday, 24 August 2009

Whisky, whisky everywhere and not a drop to drink

It seems to me if Scots are Boycotting Diageo, and the septics are Boycotting Scotch, then Diageo is in the position of a girl invited to a footballers hotel room...going to get a spit-roasting.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Haggis eating compassion monkeys.


Isn't it strange that the most self-proclaimed Christian Nation in the world doesn't follow the precepts of of the founder of that religion?
Theirs seems to be an Old Testament God, of vengeance and retribution.
To quote Ghandi "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind."

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Clydeside Red


I'm not totally convinced by the global warming theory; however if it is true, Scotland will be an ideal place for growing vines, just like Chile is today.

I have a reasonably large south facing, sloping garden...

Describing the teroir might be a problem though; a hint of dog run, a soup├žon of creasote fence.

And what to call Scots wines?


Will there be a Cotes du Bridge?



A Holyrood Fiasco?




A Port o' Leith?




Any suggestions?

Friday, 14 August 2009

CyberNats'r'Us


It was back in August 2006 that I first got broadband. It was a wee suprise for me from the beloved as I was in London when the hub was installed. Having only dial-up before then I had not tended to use the internet at home.

At work, I had been following the political scene(on my breaks, honest!) on the Scotsman website; it was then an excellently designed piece of work, very user friendly.The editorial content, however I thought a wee bit biased to the utterances of the (here comes the capitals) Unionist Parties.

I followed with fascination the comments on the political blogs; I laughed with Ayrshire Scot and Methelions and got exasperated with AM2.

I wriggled in my seat and thought "Right Go For It!"and signed up.


What would be my moniker?I didn't want to use my real name because I have some "Issues" with my employer; I remembered Joe from Waterstones being suspended from his job for calling them "Bastardstones"...That was mild to what I wanted to say.

Yes, I work for the council.

So the nickname from my biker days it was.

My heart pumping faster I launched my first comment.

Into the void.

But eventually I got what every poster(and blogger) wants-recognition.

There became a regular bunch of us, we used to pick on poor AM2 most of the time, and to his credit he stuck to his guns and gave as good as he got without resorting to invective.

I gave in once and gave a mouthful to a long forgotten abusive moniker; I got barred.

I was distraught, I had stopped going to the pub to do this for fucks sake!

But help was at hand from my chumrades(copyright Monty), AS and Meths developed" Advanced Punctuation For Good",
so I became Conan the Librarian ™.
Then that weel kent socialist Laird, a skier on the slopes of Glenfiddich, an admirer of the demi-monde of Carlton Hill and all thing troughery, the Bloody Nosed Baron Full o' Cum nock, the puncher of little old women, came up with the tag: CyberNats.


I liked it, it showed our wee bee stings were starting to hurt.


And I was proud to call myself a CyberNat.


I still am. I don't care if the rants of some borderline deranged people are now supposed be CyberNattery, I was there when the term was coined.


I am, and always will be, a CyberNat.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

The Vronsky Beat

The Hootsmon now has a special correspondent, Vronsky.
I'm sure he isn't even a bit of a count.

Monday, 10 August 2009

Digging to China 2; Geordie's perserverance

Oh the Bloody-red-nosed Baron is at it again; you have to give him ten out of ten for sheer perserverance.
I wonder if there is a cybernat out there who has added up the total cost to the taxpayer of the noble Lord's indefatigable, and so far futile, search for dirt on the SNP?

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

The Ballad o' Castle Huntly Gaol

Yon Alex lied, crawed Iain Gray,
Wi' his sleekit lang tung o' siller;
Tae the Scots parliament he did say,
That he kenned nocht o' any missin' pris'ner;
But he's found oot, the whey faced knobheid-
That Alex, the parly did no' mislead.
No, wha this tale o' truth shall read,
Ilk man and mother's son take heed;
Whene'er to drink you are inclin'd,
Or Gordon Broon runs barefoot in your mind,
Think! ye may buy joys o'er dear -
Remember Iain Gray's nightmare.

Shear Bliss for Harman


Sweeping Cavalier bow to Jess the Dog.

Monday, 3 August 2009

Positive Day Headlines


Positive News Day



Scientists at the University of Glasgow have found that a key ingredient in red wine could benefit those suffering from arthritis.
They found that the antioxidant resveratrol, known to be good for the heart and fighting cancer, could also stop inflammation, which plays a major role in arthritis, diabetes, and irritable bowel syndrome.
Their study showed that resveratrol blocks two key proteins to stop inflammation.
“Strong acute inflammatory diseases such as [infections like] sepsis are very difficult to treat and many die daily due to a lack of treatment,” quoted a researcher from the study.
“Moreover, many survivors of sepsis develop a very low quality of life due to the damage that inflammation causes to several internal organs,” the researcher added.
The researchers now aim to develop new treatments from their findings, and I intend to carry on some intensive research on some Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon.


Some other good news today, Chinese scientists have discovered how to regrow severed spinal cords in lab rats. The next logical step would be to grow one from scratch and attach it to Gordon "Bottler"Brown.

Then we might just get an election.

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Positive Day: a Scots perspective

I think Scots is the only tung in the world, where a double positive is a negative...