Thursday, 14 July 2016

"Our" new Foreign Minister

He's the one on the right

The Scotch - what a verminous race!
Canny, pushy, chippy, they're all over the place.
Battening off us with false bonhomie;
Polluting our stock, undermining our economy.
Down with sandy hair and knobbly knees!
Suppress the tartan dwarves and the Wee Frees!
Ban the kilt, the skean-dhu and the sporran
As provocatively, offensively foreign!
It's time Hadrian's Wall was refortified
To pen them in a ghetto on the other side.
I would go further. The nation
Deserves not merely isolation
But comprehensive extermination.
We must not flinch from a solution.
(I await legal prosecution.)

TheSpectator in 2004

Friday, 24 June 2016

And so it begins again.


Hands up who prefers this to "God save the Queen"?

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

God, I don't want to be sued, but....



I once worked for the City of Edinburgh Libraries; about  twenty years ago small branch libraries  were asked to manually delete individual accounts, long overdues, huge fines, etc. to help larger branches, like Morningside.

I got a sheaf of them, as we all did.

One of them stuck out, mainly because of the unusual surname, and the title of the first book on the list.

...Of the six long overdue books,,,

"How to write children's books".

I wonder if ECL has a case to sue this particular author?




Monday, 11 January 2016

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Next year, in Edinburgh

And guid will tae all.

To all my dwindling band of followers, Merry Christmas and a guid New Year. The dozen or so of youse ken who you are, but especially to George. I've promised him a wee post aw tae his sel as soon I have time tae write it. I'm retiring next week...seriously.