'Twas on the 5th of June in the year of 2009, That Gordon said to Peter, I need your arts malign.
Everyone is against me; I've had an awfy fright, So Mandelson accepted, with inexpressible delight.
For an evil person once with malice did profess, that poor young Peter was the Prince of Darkness.
From anxiety of mind he'd took but little food, on Hampstead Heath in stiff anticipation he'd stood.
There lovers can wander safe arm in arm, For policemen are there to protect them from all harm .
But now he ordered dinner and prepared without delay, Saying; I shall gain a peerage to-morrow, or some fucker will pay.
So Gordon said to Peter, I need your sage advice; if you serve me well and true you can name your price.
Then Peter said, power is sweeter than honey or jam; so give me much power as quick as you can.
Alright said Gordon, I'll make you a Baron, that'll give as much power as Ozzie's wife Sharon;
Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham.
So now you have power, and a tight little bum, there is no need now for feeling so glum.