Sunday 21 August 2011

Hootsmon Headlines

This bit is for Union is Great...

6 comments:

  1. Yeah! well done Conan especially like the photo of Salmond King of the

    Scottish Nose Pickers



    The Trumpton Riots

    Ner ner-ner-ner ner-ner-ner ner
    Ner ner-ner-ner-ner-ner

    No! Oh oh oh!
    Elevate!

    Unemployment’s rising in the Chigley end of town
    And it’s spreading like pneumonia
    Doesn’t look like going down
    There’s trouble at the fire station someone’s had the sack
    And the lads are going to launch a scheme get rid of Captain Flack

    Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate
    And arm themselves with CS gas
    They’re gonna be out late
    We’ve had Cant conformism since 1966
    And now subversion’s in the air in the shape of flying bricks


    Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
    That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
    And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
    ‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

    All this aristocracy has really got to stop
    We can overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp
    And Chippy Minton’s Socialists could storm the Market Square
    And make plans to assassinate our autocratic Mayor

    Windy Militant leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war
    With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door
    But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew
    Whereupon they bring about a military coup

    Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
    That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
    And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
    ‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

    Oh, someone get a message through to Captain Snort
    That they’d better start assembling the boys from the fort
    And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight
    ‘Cos there’s gonna be a riot down in Trumpton tonight

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  2. Much prefer this one Niko.

    Time flies by when you’re a driver of a train
    Speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine
    I get high when I’m the pilot of a plane
    Touching down in Camberwick I’m stoned out of my brain

    Under bridges, over bridges, to our destination
    Careful with that spliff Eugene, it causes condensation

    Every Saturday I get the Chigley skins
    And they always smash my windows ‘cos the home side always wins
    Yeah, time flies by when you’re a driver of a train
    Gonna get me syringes out and crank up once again

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  3. Conan, for shame! You scared me with that horror photo on the cover. You'll scar the weans for life if they see that.

    (Nice one)

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  4. I wonder if she's being kept alive with a wonder drug code-named G&T?

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  5. I can't wait for the state funeral/street party...

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  6. Wouldn't it be terrible if it happened at the same time as the Olympics?

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