Friday 16 September 2011

Auld Hootsmon Headlines

I first wrote this in 2009.

And it all starts again...

Beautiful Road Bridge over the briny Forth

That lets you visit the village of Queensferry, North

And hosts a bus service that takes you straight to Deep Sea World

I am here to tell you of a terrible tale which unfurled

When the bus tried to leave Edinburgh, where the cold wind swirled

The passenger's hearts were light and felt no sorrow

But TIE in it's wrath had ploughed a furrow

From Haymarket to Shandwick Place was a hole in the ground

Right along Princes Street and away past the Mound

(Hang on this is not in my plans; I'm writing doggerel, which almost scans

But heh, I'm only looking for an excuse; to start off McGonagall and end up Suess)

But back to the bus, the passengers happy

Not yet knowing how long they would wait for a lavvie.

So the bus crawled on with all of it's might

Keeping ladies with Zimmerframes, just within sight

At Haymarket; the passengers, bladders in pain

Got off the bus and on to the train...


  1. We TIEd our best.

  2. The style is perfect. I'm still laughing...

  3. Nice one, Conan, and you wrote this in 2009 when you were just a young sprog?