Tuesday 30 June 2009

Michael Jackson wants to keep Union

Ah...em...I don't know what happened here, I had a block of text which seems to have vanished...Nothing at all to do with Nigerian imported Guinness with an ABV of 7.5%

Anyway, the aforesaid block of text was about me thinking that a deid pop star and a British General, that had the same name was extremely funny; plus that New Labour were moaning about that the SNP had somehow monopolised the St Andrew's flag.
I was trying to point out that the Russian Navy also had dibs.
Ah well.

Sunday 28 June 2009

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Oh Dave, shot one's self in one's foot again, hasn't one?

Friday 26 June 2009

Bye Jacko

There are many sites doing Jackson jokes today, so why bother?

Oh just the one then.

Thursday 25 June 2009

An impartial press.

Last night on the Hootsmon's comment page, a weel kent poster made a mildly sarcastic remark about my "favourite" MSP.Trying to refute this by pointing out some things I had written about him on my blog, I attempted to post my blog address.

I couldn't.

I'm reminded again of the Steamie blog, where one of David Maddox's posts that had sixteen comments disagreeing with him disappeared.

I'm not mad(heh, better make that angry!), it just made me remember why I started this blogging caper in the first place.

Bloggers have been in the dead tree press a lot lately, of course much of it negative(apart from Iran of course, their bloggers aren't criticizing the British press); what we are doing in our small individual ways are reminding them that the days of William Randolph Hearst are long over.

Monday 22 June 2009

Holy Gordon's Prayer

Lord, hear my earnest cry and pray'r

Against that Scots Parliament up there!

Thy strong right hand, Lord, mak it bare Upo' their hieds!

Lord, visit them, an' dinna spare, For their misdeeds!

O Lord, my God! that glib-tongu'd Salmond,
His questions drove me to deep despond
My vera heart and flesh are quakin

To think how we stood sweatin, shakin,

An pish'd wi' dread,

While he, wi' hingin lip an' snakin,

Held up his head.

But, Lord, remember me and mine

Darling Mandleson, Balls and Divine,

That I for grace an' gear may shine

Excell'd by nane; And a' the glory shall be Thine

-- Amen, Amen!

Thursday 18 June 2009


Will the real Alfred E. Neuman stand up.

Tuesday 16 June 2009

Keen as Calman

John Bull's condiment of choice, perfect for the Union between British bullshit and Scots bread.

Slather it on thick, but remember to keep oil out of the recipe.

Saturday 13 June 2009

Foy! You!

'Twas on the 5th of June in the year of 2009, That Gordon said to Peter, I need your arts malign.
Everyone is against me; I've had an awfy fright, So Mandelson accepted, with inexpressible delight.
For an evil person once with malice did profess, that poor young Peter was the Prince of Darkness.
From anxiety of mind he'd took but little food, on Hampstead Heath in stiff anticipation he'd stood.
There lovers can wander safe arm in arm, For policemen are there to protect them from all harm .
But now he ordered dinner and prepared without delay, Saying; I shall gain a peerage to-morrow, or some fucker will pay.
So Gordon said to Peter, I need your sage advice; if you serve me well and true you can name your price.
Then Peter said, power is sweeter than honey or jam; so give me much power as quick as you can.
Alright said Gordon, I'll make you a Baron, that'll give as much power as Ozzie's wife Sharon;
Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham.
So now you have power, and a tight little bum, there is no need now for feeling so glum.

Thursday 11 June 2009

Another Government meltdown

This is information that, but for a Freedom of Information request, would have remained secret:

Two years ago, a burst pipe inside the Sizewell A station led to a huge leak from the pond used to cool thousands of nuclear fuel rods.
Sizewell lies in Suffolk, on the East coast of England. If the nuclear fuel rods had caught fire, the resulting radioactive plume could have landed on villages from Southwold and Dunwich in the North, to Thorpeness and Aldburgh in the South, and inland to Leiston and Saxmundum.

The leak was only found out by chance...

Yet the Government, in it's wisdom, said a prosecution would not be in the public interest.

Or maybe not in Gordon Brown's brother's interest.

Wednesday 10 June 2009

Voltaire sighs

"We don't believe in free speech for Fascists"

Donna Guthrie
Unite Against Fascism

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster."

Friedrich Nietzche

Wednesday 3 June 2009

The Prophecies of Nikodamus

Quatrain the first:

"In the reign of the evil witch queen

She shall lay waste to the North; the one shall become we

The son is lost and found; not yet time for policies green

A war is fought; she gives away gas and electricity"

Quatrain the second:

"The tyrant is usurped by the grey man

He does nothing major; or nought minor

Eggs shall be reviled; even unto the frying pan

Curry shall be in favour; he shall give one to her"

Quatrain the third:

"The red men shall turn blue; the tooth'd one gains power

The workers are betrayed; he disdains clause four

The brazen trumpets blare; they paint a red flower

His brains are misunderestimated; he goes to war"

Quatrain the fourth:

"From the North comes a one-eyed man with a frown

Rich men lose money; prudence goes oot the windae

Two houses are needed in London town

Comes the antichrist; its name is Mandy"