Saturday 15 December 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Hi folks.

As some of my online mates already know, I've not been posting much because my personal life has been pretty shite in the past year.

Onwards and upwards.

If any one survives past the media whipped up hysteria about the end of a calender chipped in stone by a stone age people, Happy Christmas...hang on...

There is always CERN...

Monday 17 September 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Entirely predictable pictures chosen for Andy's visit to his hometown on the MSM. For every Union flag visible, there were dozens of Saltires, yet of course the Union flag featured heavily in the pictures picked by editors...

Friday 7 September 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Apologies folks, I've been too busy (At work) yet also at our wonderful British Press.

Commenting on there is like a computer game; every time you refute an answer, that particular moniker retreats and then another one replaces it.

I'm really sick of saying that England does not subsidise Scotland...

Sunday 26 August 2012

Another Step

I remember watching man take a small step one night...

Wednesday 15 August 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

I remember being sent 'for the rations' to the local grocer with my elder sister, as we were the youngest of a huge tribe of older siblings, all of who were in higher education or had their own part time jobs.
Between us we carried an ancient shopping bag by having a handle each, so our puny wee muscles could carry quite a lot.
We handed the handwritten note over to the Elder Grocer if we could (he would 'gie us a sweetie' where as his '& Son' wouldn't). Amazing as it would seem today, the list always included a gill of whisky and a can of McEwans Pale Ale, given to a six and a nine year old without  a murmur...

Now what happened next, depended on the amount of change and if we had gotten sweeties or not.
Off to John Menzies, just opposite, we'd either get a comic and a sweetie, or two comics; I'd get the Victor or the Hotspur, my sister would get the Bunty, the Beano or the Dandy or both if the finances were right.

Farewell my old non pc friend.

Monday 6 August 2012

August 6 1945

As I said on another blog, "I have kept quiet about many SNP policies I disagreed with to avoid the Judean's Popular front meltdown, which would be leapt upon by the unionists with glee".

Peter Curran replied to me “There are times when it is wrong to remain silent, Sean. This is one of them.”

Reluctantly, for I know what's coming, I agree with him. Removing the obscenities in Faslane was one of the mainstays of SNP policy. Staying in NATO weakens that position.

And I didn't like price controls on alcohol either...

Saturday 21 July 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Hi folks. As Mr Cochrane is on holiday, I now find myself with a wee window to catch up with my blog, Dorothy...
My repaired  computer is working fine (thanks Jamie) perhaps even a tad faster than before; it certainly doesn't overheat like it used to.

So, to business. Any residents of Edinburgh indulging in a wee bit of schadenfreude about the Olympics? The tramworks will be as nothing compared to the Zil lanes, terrorist searches and corporate clothing circumscriptions...fortunately for the Londoners it will only last for a couple of weeks.

We have another two years.

Monday 16 July 2012

Saturday 7 July 2012

Some things never change

Did this some years ago...change Saturday to Sunday.

"Why haven't I been posting of late?", some kind person  asked me by e mail.

Several reasons; personal, work and yet another dead computer, hence this quick rehash.

Peace and love chumrades.

Tuesday 26 June 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

The 21st century. Revolution, inspired by equality for all, has deposed tyrants all over North Africa.

Then along comes Islamists and people who think others should show deference to them because they were born superior, due to 'blood' apparently.

Sunday 10 June 2012

SNP Black Ops.

I think Alan's employers should be told, don't you?

Okay I faked it, but only after Mr Cochrane had admitted he'd worn one to get into the launch of the YES campaign.
Or was he aware of another photograph and launched a pre-emptive strike...?

Saturday 2 June 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

I'm so fed up with London...Olympics, Jubilee, BBC news, even if it's meant to be from Salford.

Thursday 31 May 2012

Stamped Out

Well folks, for those of you who are still mildly interested in what I ramble here, a wee word of explanation.

I am no longer Conan the Librarian.

After a good chunk of three decades working in the book pushing business, I have another job.

From being one of the oldest and most experienced people in my workplace, I've become 'the' oldest and least experienced.


I now don't have to be on the look out for: Groups of teens, junkies drug users who have just scored, junkies drug users who are on the chore*, jakies** who are drinking/falling asleep/ pissing themselves, but most of all the constant horde of  non council tax payers wanting 'their' god given free internet.

And I haven't even touched on the ten percent of library users that still want books...

So, folks, sorry if I haven't been posting enough, but I'm sure "Conan the Admin Slash IT Guy for the Third Floor" will get into his stride soon.

* Chore: An Edinburgh drug users (not meant to use the word junkie; I forgot) daily regime, housebreaking, begging, shoplifting and mugging those  even weaker than themselves.

** Jakie: Journalists, retired journalists, ex-journalists who work for the Scotsman, wannabe journalists who work for the Daily Record; alcoholics. 

Thursday 10 May 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Ah, good old Charlie.
 I wonder what was taken off front page news for this fluff? 
Was it Cameron's U-turn on the joint strike fighter?
Perhaps it was the further savaging of Scotland's share in the UK budget?

Was there good news for the SNP? What do you think?

On a lighter note, I'm sure there is a clip of cuddly cubs out there somewhere.

Just waiting for their thirty seconds in the limelght...

Sunday 29 April 2012

Not the Hootsmon Headlines

Much has changed in my life since last I posted.

I'm breaking a promise to myself not to blog while pissed; here goes anyway.

Wednesday 11 April 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Four days late. Blame work. Blame the Environmental Protection Act 1990. Blame me having to read the damned thing for work.
But most of all blame the MSM for spoiling me with choices...

Saturday 7 April 2012

Hootsmon Poll

I thought I'd better do something this long weekend, but where to start? If I can stay out of the pub  maybe there will be a Headlines later. That's a big maybe...

Wednesday 28 March 2012

Titter Ye Not

Francis Maude's latest: stockpile petrol in your house. Unfortunately that's illegal as well as anti-social Francis.

Forgive the lack of a Hootsmon, I've been redeployed at work, and it's very much deep end learning; good fun but tiring. It's half past five as I type and I'm falling asleep...

Tuesday 13 March 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Some fun. Could you lot out there think up ten signs of being a cybernat?

Monday 12 March 2012

The Peter Principle

The Royals eh? Love them or hate them you can't ignore them, in this country anyway, thanks to the endless coverage of all their "work" especially by the sickmakingly sycophantic BBC. (I think you can figure out where I stand on the matter.)
Anyhoo, this particular photo of warrior prince Hal rang a bell with me, then I found one of him in uniform...

Thursday 8 March 2012

Auld Hootsmon Headlines

Sorry folks, there has just been too much going on in my "Career" and the bairns to post  recently.

Monday 27 February 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Back in the olden days, when the term "Cybernat" was a twinkle in Laird Geordie's researchers' eye, I got caught up in a flamer on (you've guessed it) the Scotsman's comment pages. My original moniker disappeared from the annals of history for good, and I stopped posting for a while.

After Foulkes' and the advent of "Nat Black Ops" the moderators got desperate and started banning people for banter, or for revealing themselves as previously banned, or just on a whim, who knew?
Now the good people at Newsnet Scotland seem to be going down the same road; their reason is that the MSM pick up on the more rabid statements and publish them and them alone as evidence that the SNP are "swivel eyed loons".

Yet once you start censorship, mission creep begins. A post calling the Scottish Secretary a cunt is fair game to the blue pencil, then any satirical reference to him and finally there is the removal of any post that is slightly disrespectful to the Queen's annointed on this earth...

If Newsnet Scotland thinks that this approach will stop unionists calling them Newsnutter or Newsnat then they are mistaken. Instead of an organic discussion leavened with humour and off topic revelations, they will end up with a very sterile site indeed.

Thursday 23 February 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

As my last two attempts at drunken blogging went down like a lead balloon, I thought I'd do it sober for once.I know I'm a bit late with the porridge thing, but I just couldn't think of another headline. Then last night, as if by magic...

Wednesday 15 February 2012

Not the Hootsmon Headlines

I was looking at this advert on Newsnet Scotland, which rang a few bells...


Monday 13 February 2012


He's four feet-two, and he's five feet-four,
He fights with half-bricks after beer.
He's all of sixty-one, and he's only seventeen,
Been a voter for three hundred years.

He's a Catholic, a Hindu, an Atheist, a Jain,
A Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew.
And he knows he's being a pain,
To the English in their view,
That they subsidise my friend and me and you.

And he's fighting the Scotsman,
He's fighting the Mail,
He's fighting the BBC,
And he's fighting the Record,
And he's fighting the Express,
And he knows we'll put an end to it this way.

And he's fighting for Democracy,
He's fighting for the Reds,
We know it's for the peace of all.
He's the one who must decide,
Who's to go and who's to bide,
And the arguments against him mean fuck all.

But without him,
Thatcher did the evil that she done.
With him she would have stood all alone,
It's a paradox I know, but I've been smoking blow
Dah de da de da de do.
And without him this referendum can't be won.

He's an SNP supporter and he really is fair game,
Their orders come from far away for sure,
They come from here and there...
...but not from you and me...
And brothers can't you see,
This is the way we put an end to war...

Perhaps Hazel could do something wi this?

Or anyin else wi a guid voice and a mike.


Ah... I blame the Welsh.

I also blame Lalland's post on the demographics of the SNP as seen in the SoS, it must have sparked something off...

Friday 10 February 2012

Mirror, Mirror Hootsmon

Forgive me. After a wee discussion in the pub my inner nerd took over and forced me to write this. In an alternate universe some things will never change...

Saturday 4 February 2012

The Real Referendum

I thought, since everybody seems to be doing it, I'd bring out my referendum question.

Thursday 26 January 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Now they are complaining it's a loaded question. I despair sometimes...

Monday 16 January 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Blogger is being funny again. Is it just me? I can't read or make comments on certain sites...including my own. Ah well, I'll just have to wait until my tame geek finishes Skyrim.

Monday 9 January 2012

Hootsmon Headlines

Well, as I always said it on here, a Tory Government in Westminster versus any Holyrood administration would lead to independence. The icing on the cake is it's a ToryLib Government made up of privately educated millionaires versus a majority SNP one.
Please come and campaign in Scotland Dave, please...

This time last year I was waiting for a builder to repair my roof and two bedroom ceilings; this year I'm a bit luckier as only the gate to the dogs run blew off. The lawn now resembles a muddy battlefield once again thanks to four terriers' escape attempts.
Many of my neighbours weren't so lucky, entire fences were felled like drawbridges and slates litter the ground like cherry blossom; the local leisure centre's roof was stopped on it's merry way to Edinburgh by a stand of trees, and my local's roof leaks.

Apart from that, it's been a good year for me so far.

Blogger is being...Blogger.

I can't view comments; I hope they are favourable folks...