Tuesday 10 August 2010

Fixin tae die radge

Well, come on all of ye, big Scots men,
Uncle Sam needs yer help again.
He's got hisel in a terrible jam
Way ower yonder in Afghanistan
So pit doon yer pint and pick up a gun,
We're gonnie hae a lotta fun.

And it's one, two, three,
Whit are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't gie a damn,
Next stop Afghanistan;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there is nae time tae wonder why,
Fucksake! we're aw gonnie die!

Come on Dave, dinnae be slow,
We all ken that yer in the know
There's plenty guid money to be made
By gien the Army shoddy tools o' its trade,
But just hope and pray though even they're shan,
They work against the Taliban.

Well, come on generals, let's move fast;
Your big chance has come at last.
Now you can go and shoot a ragheid
'Cause the only good muzzie is the yin that's deid
And you know that peace can only be won
When they've all blown themsels tae paradise come.

So come on folks in auld Scotland,
Send yer bairns to the desert sand.
Come on corporations, don't hesitate
To get some profit before it's too late.
And you can be the first ones in your block
To get some Russian gas in a box.

I did something similar to this on the Hootsmon comments page a couple of years ago, just after being disabused of the notion that this was a war to protect us (the West) from terrorism.
I thought then, it was fight them there or fight them here; I was sadly wrong.

The Taliban in the 'stan are people who have been fighting all their life: Against their family, if they feel dishonoured, their neighbours, the neighbours of their neighbours, the next tribe, their Government, the Soviets(with American aid)
When they became the Government, the rebels...
Who were their neighbours, next tribe etc.
And now us.
But how can a medieval tribesman actually hurt us?
By taking our troops onto a battlefield of his choosing and ignoring the "rules of engagement" that our forces are handicapped by.
As in the Middle East habit of shooting weapons into the air at weddings which have resulted in well reported atrocities, as American bombs kill women and children as they return fire after several rounds from ill-aimed revelers rifles ping off airframes, and the rockets were only fireworks. Obviously.
We all know in Britain how the Yank Air Force is incompetent don't we?George W. was a pilot in it after all:)
So: Our troops are seen as aggressors to the Muslim world; their brand of sky pixie belief can't be trashed like communism was as the American brand of sky pixie belief would suffer collateral damage...

We have to leave as soon as possible.

Peace Man.


  1. They've been fighting all their lives, aye, that's why they're so good at it. They've also fought the Brits before, stories wil have been passed down through the generations. We lost then, 10's of thousands, we'll lose again.

  2. Spot on Conan. We're losing, in fact we lost before we started.

  3. At the height of WW2 in the jungle of Burma my father in law was fighting alongside Indian (Raj days remember) troops from the Afghan border area. During a lull in one battle they were sitting eating when one of the Indian troopers said "we can't wait for this war to be over sahib, then we can get back to fighting you British in the pass (Kyber)! Much nodding of heads from the rest of the group and no laughter. Ahem, well we're a wee bit further in than the pass but they're still fighting us

  4. Thanks for your comments as always.

    This started off as a Hootsmon; but people are dying.

    The Taliban execute women and children.

    The Taliban execute women and children.

    The Taliban execute aid workers.

    The Taliban execute aid workers.

    And there are British citizens who support them.

    I think we should start there.

  5. Let me explain this to you--veerry slowly.

    Whenever we Americans come along and say, "Hey, we're starting a neat-o war; jump in" take about the same length of time helping that we did in WWII (how many years?)--and make it loans so we pay you back. Sound familiar? Or maybe about how fast we jumped into that little Falklands fracas you got into.

    However, after thinking it over something along the lines of "no", "hell, no" or... *cough* Sorry, Conan, I won't say it.

    Really. Ask yourselves if following along like our pet poodle is REALLY a good idea. And when you say no it gives me a better argument when I tell my fellow Americans we're being stupid if you lot aren't going along saying, "Yeah, dying in Afghanistan looks like a DANDY thing to do"

  6. Not liking or approving of the Taliban does not mean going to war with them you know. I think just as highly of the Saudi Arabian government who have a similar rights record. Any of our troops worrying about women and children over there?


    I thought not. I wonder why THAT is.

  7. Hey Jeanne, do you think I need things explained very slowly to me?

    Is it an American thing?

  8. Yep. Good post mate. I doubt if the Yaliban government ever signed up to any of the Geneva Coventions.

    I was watching, the other day, a video of American soldiers teaching Iraqi's how to do unarmed combat, and I was thinking.... is that where the 21st ventury has got us? Men (for it is always men) hitting each other.

    It's a sad indictment on our world.....

  9. I supported the Iraq and Afghan interventions at the time, and continue to now.

    I do not accept that we are losing, in fact Iraq has matured, and its government has well over 1 million trained troops, capable of dealing with the few hundred terrorists remaining.

    Surge tactics, and empowerment of local political/community structures enabled victory in Iraq, I fail to accept the Petainesque defeatism concerning Afghanistan.

    These are morally justifiable, and legally sanctioned interventions. Keep them there till the job is done: the job being to clear the region of the terrorist aparatus.

  10. Welcome Dean.
    The only way we can win against Jihad is to cut the head off, not stamp on it's fingers.
    That would mean making Saudi a secular state, not to mention a democracy.
    And then there's Iran.
    So who's gonny be first then Dean d'ye think?
    Once we've won in the 'stan that is.

  11. Conan,

    Cheers, you have a good blog here. I'm surprised I haven't noticed it before.

    But Iran can be dealt with through UN sanctions, weaken the regime and its own internal democratic movement can be supported; as a way out. Iran has a burgeoning middle class, and youthful population who are desperate to move away from orthodoxy, and copy Turkey perhaps as an Islamic secular democracy [maybe they may have more success at the democracy part than Turkey once they try!].

    As for Saudi, things are changing, albiet slowly.
    We are winning, the winds of change favour the bold.