Wednesday 1 April 2009

Deus ex machina I

Conan pulled out the cattle prod he had liberated from Niko's room, oh so long ago...

The creature's insane eyes widened and said

"Ermf oh atsh wayt ent."

"Eh?" Replied Conan eloquently.

A mask was unzipped. "Yew were wot nicked it, when yew dun over my gaff yew cant."

"Pardon?" Said Conan, equally mystified.

"Dreadfully sorry old chap, trying to stay in character, don'tcha know."

It all clicked in Conan's head.

"You're S.I.S...." He gestured at the bodies. "But they were on your side..."

"Don't be a fool!" Spat Niko, pulling of his mask and with a hint of regret, tossing it onto the pony-tailed shambles behind him.

"Haven't worn one of those since, they were getting a bloody liability old boy."

"Stupid MI5 wankers! They were doing more harm than good, practically recruiting for the damned SNP!"

"So they had to go..." Mused Conan, "But the rest? Subrosa, Brownlie ?

"Subrosa? Deep undercover for the Dundee W.I. She got away...Very jammy that one."

Conan hazarded a guess "Spook is Mossad?" A nod. "Then Brownlie is...?"

Niko frowned " A total kno-" "No! Who he works for!"Shouted Conan.

"Why Conan, he works for The News of the World..."

Conan gasped in horror "...Well at least it's not the Scotsman."

To be continued.



  1. Conan,

    Hope your doctor's appointment went okay and that you are fighting fit again.

  2. conan

    Hope your doctor's appointment went okay and that you have another month off.

    Your jus trying to make me look thick and igorant...

  3. No, Niko, old son, that's your job. Good to see you rate me so highly but I should point out that nobleman does not start with "kno..". Actually the total part is not true but a high percentage is.

  4. Well I suppose I'd better add to the platitudes - hope your doctor appointment was ok.

    Conan, flower arranging is my thing at the Dundee W I, I stopped doing the jam making when Keillors gave up. They used to buy it you see, it was in their 'local quality preserve' range.

  5. subrosa,

    I think he's referring to "jamming" on your cello - honestly, that Conan, I've got to help explain his obscure references all the time and all I get in return is insults. At least my pal Niko air-brushed the picture of me "going for my dinner" to make it less reprehensible.

  6. Ahoy hoy old chap, loving the blog, last time I passed this way it was all goblins and mystical runes. Glad to hear you're on the mend. Over in Enbra most Thursday's must catch a smooth one at the Cafe Royal, some night.