Sunday 8 March 2009


Grok and Urak stood on the shore of the loch, staring a the bizarre sight floating there.

On a raft in the middle of the loch was a contraption that resembled a huge bow on its side, lashed to a ramshackle construction of logs. The projectile loaded on the bric-a-brac bricole was twice as long as a man; it ended in three sharpened prongs, like a fish spear.

"What's it for?" asked Urak, confident that his friend would impart total enlightenment.
"It's to stop the Flatlanders".
Urak nodded, satisfied.
"Bastard Flatlanders. What were they trying to do anyway?"

Grok scratched his beard. " wasn't what they were going to it was to stop them from doing it if they ever wanted to."

Urak scratched his beard also. "Eh?"
"They had these Elks...have you seen them? Huge fucking antlers. Dangerous bastards."
"Aye..."Urak was scratching his head now "But..."
Grok was getting irritated."Aye right we've got the mammoths, yes okay!"

He took a deep breath. "We needed an edge, something that would neutralise their elks..."

"Ah" said Urak, looking out at the loch.

"So it's a Weapon of Moose Destruction..."


  1. lol, very good Conan, hey did you make that one up yourself or was it a Macdonald Rd classic ?

  2. Nae plagiarism here Spook, even though the blogs title would suggest it.

  3. Oh, deer,

    Conan, I heard that one on my stag night. Great build-up!! Disappointed not to get a mention.

  4. brownlie will return in the next episode, "Under Milkmoose."

  5. Why not Under Moosemilk? Do mooses drink milk? Just a thought and a bad one at that.

  6. Conan,

    Have tried to post on your latest epistle but it seems to go blank. Are you only allowing sensible comments now?

  7. *I* couldn't access the comments boxes yesterday either brownlie.

    You are mentioned, just look hard...

    No, not the viagra eyedrops.

  8. I've taken off wv, see if that helps.

  9. Here's another story about a Moose

  10. Conan,

    I saw the reference to bastard - I didn't know you meant me.

  11. Welcome Col.

    brownlie, not this post the one above.

    Would I insult my no.1 fan?

    Unless it was funny?

  12. Conan,

    Yes, mate, you would, and do, every chance you get!