Friday 20 March 2009

Conan, Private Investigator.

Investigating a ruthless gang involved in vote-rigging, fraud, gun running and politics, Conan P.I. finds himself at the local Labour party HQ.
Using a carelessly discarded pair of Union Jack boxer shorts, Conan rocked the guard to sleep, gently humming the Internationale...
Rifling through Niko's bedroom
Conan finds various leather garments.
A leather hood with a zip for the mouth is found.
Conan presumes Niko uses it in his heists.
A heavy plastic truncheon catches his eye.He finds a switch near its base, and flicks it on-then jumps in sudden fright as it buzzes and leaps out of his hand!
" A cattle prod of some sort" he thinks."It may come in handy, interrogating prisoners..."
Conan pushes the cattle prod down the front of his trousers.

Walking stiff legged;

Darn! Who else could he ask what the mysterious syringe was?

Ted promised to look into the matter, made an excuse and ran to the mensroom, wrapping something around his arm.

A Dick! Conan was furious! He thought his blue suit, brown shoes and pink fedora was cutting edge!

His secretary looked up from Conan's trousers.
"Is that a gu-" "No time for chitchat, Miss Clara!" Said Conan.


  1. lol excellent Conan, yeh i knew Niko was involved with this vote rigging mantra. That big thing you found in his room, ooer i say it vibrates..

    Love the white stockings ans shoes so she must be a whore, lmao..

  2. Hmm !must master photoshop...Weapon of choice must be the old sawn off easy to carry and hide don't need to aim.And always scares people cheap to buy or hire.

    Thought i head a noise last night...someones gonna get hurt and soon

  3. The old Lupara eh?
    Luckily I'm very expensive to hire then Niko;-)
    Have you considered the entry level handgun?
    A decommissioned pistol or a blank firing replica re-bored to fire birdshot.Nasty.

  4. May I state here and now that I have never worn white shoes in my entire life. Now as for white stockings or any other colour of stockings that's my business ;)

    Magic Conan.

  5. subrosa

    you mean your all high heels and no nickers.

  6. Conan,

    Brilliant! You are wasted on here. Come to think of it, going by some of your posts extremely wasted. Can I come and visit your herb garden?

    Brownlie does not like being referred to as Jonny as, being a wee free, he feels it has unsavoury French Connections.

    I would easily recognise the heroin with the white stocking due to possessing a very powerful telescope and a clear view of the sitooterie.

    Again, with my wee free hat on, I hope you've missed out a punctuation mark in "who're" incorrectly as any other implication would have me reaching for the smelling salts.

  7. Conan,

    PS: Oh dear, I've just noticed you've spelt "Counts" rong as well!

  8. Good Evening brownlie.

    Who are you calling a Comte?

    With your Wee Free hat heroin smuggling a crime on Mondays?

  9. Niko, you should know that Perthshire is always far too windy for any woman to be without knickers. I admit to having a penchant for the oh la la type though but only when I'm not in the company of any wee frees.

  10. subrosa

    Dont you know that "frees" a jolly good fellow!

  11. I think brownlies' up for a freesome subrosa...

  12. Heheheh, nice one Uncle :)

    Call you a Dick!! :p

    Is there a website that lets you put your own words into the strip or was it all you?

  13. All me Jamie.;-) Glad you like it.Any beer?

  14. Cattle prod? Must have been a saber six from Savage Minnesota - I prefer the power mite as it's easier to conceal. Although I must say the TSD's multiple settings and remote control can come in handy.

  15. Conan, everything has a price and nothing in my life is free. Mind you, I'm always slightly unnerved by a few Camparis and sodas.